The Bird, the Word, and the Golden Rule
24 October 2008I’m a longtime advocate of making southern fried chicken America’s national food. Burgers and hot dogs are fine miniature flag bearers of our fake empire, but in the United States, discerning individuals know that the bird is the word. Sadly, like the zombified burgers and dogs who dominate global markets, our country’s leading export of so-called fried chicken is an abomination of the form. As a result, in life outside of the these United States, the bird is in fact not equal to or greater than the word. It is a slimy, sloppy perversion of America’s heartiest heartland heartthrob.
What then, makes the difference between the world’s most powerfully positioned fried chicken and its very best? Many a hungry American has formulated the answer to this question: the weightless crisp of a minimally floured chicken skin. Fluffy folds of heavily layered, deep fried bread crumbs. Herbs and spices robbed from the grave of an alcoholic Confederate brigadier general. White meat that is juicy to the bone and dark meat that practically falls off it when eaten. The ability to remain crisp and, dare I say, refreshing, after a night in the refrigerator- and the ability to completely dehydrate a human being if he’s too cavalier with his fried chicken intake. All of the above, with an above-ground pool of brown gravy ladled atop. Who is the real hero?

I realized my own litmus test for fried chicken at a shack in Pomona, California. Donahoo’s Golden Chicken is a southern fried chicken joint run by an extended Chinese family that doesn’t allow anyone to photograph their business, which houses two rows of deep fryers, a couple of heat lamp trays and a take-out counter. The design of the building predates Thriller and the giant chicken perched high above the marquee may have served in Patton’s army. The luckiest Donahoo’s customers will have their order taken by a cheerful high school student who has more pride in that chicken than your next door neighbor has in her dry, joyless, homemade chocolate chip cookies.

Donahoo’s fried chicken is supposedly descended from a Donahoo family. I’m fairly certain that the Donahoos of the 50s were a shade less Chinese than their successors, just as I’m certain that their successors are responsible for the wonder that it is today. In Pomona, Donahoo’s fried chicken is an extra nail in Harland Sanders’ casket: the crunchy, chewy folds of floured and fried chicken skin seem to be designed with the Kentucky Colonel’s surrender in mind, aiming for the same heavy duty goal of KFC without the curse of its greasy, slippery, charmless execution. Rich golden brown and speckled with black, it packs a powerful punch of salt and pepper, sending herbs and spices running for the deceptively simple taste of a real home recipe. The texture of Donahoo’s chicken manages to skirt all of southern fried chicken’s hallmarks at once, from stick-to-the-meat pan fry to slide-off-the-meat shell to bunched-in-a-corner deposits of savory deep fried fat.

At times the white meat at Donahoo’s can be dry, but when your chicken is made to order there are few things more succulent than a strip of their fried chicken torn right off the breastbone. On my most recent visit to the golden bird, I ordered the half-chicken dinner special and carried my white donut box of fried chicken, steak fries and homemade dinner rolls out to my car, then sat for a moment to watch the man in the parking spot next to mine. He had ordered his fried chicken less than a minute ahead of me and was wasting no time eating all of it in the driver’s seat of his 90’s Lincoln sedan, windows down and self-consciousness sitting at home, waiting for dinner.
So: The true test of southern fried chicken is how long it takes for a man to break down and eat it straight out of the box (or if he’s a lucky man, straight out of the bucket). After seeing that, I couldn’t recall a time I was near a freshly fried bird and made it all the way home without eating at least one piece in the car. I tried taking my chicken at least to a local park, but made it only as far as the local Jack in the Box parking lot. After devouring my meal, reeling from salt shock and barely able to walk, I knew I was a fool to leave Donahoo’s without taking a single bite.
Donahoo’s Golden Chicken
1074 N Garey Ave
Pomona, CA 91767
909.622.3213

October 25th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Ironically before I read your post, I was looking at Venni Mac’s M&M Soulfood and realized there were pictures. While my mouth was salivating, I realized you were the one that took the pics! And now here I am reading your post about fried chicken.
You are a godsend.
October 26th, 2008 at 4:01 am
That fried chicken sounds really really good ! And the pictures are making my mouth water… what about biscuits and honey - do they have those too ? Hmmmm, Pomona is an hour and a half away from here or thereabouts…
October 26th, 2008 at 4:50 am
Humble- As always, thanks for reading and commenting :) I’m long overdue for a trip to M&M… thanks for reminding me. Chicken fried pork chops will soon be mine…
Annie- Excepting Popeye’s (I’m so serious about this), Donahoo’s makes probably the best fried chicken I’ve had in Southern California. Sadly, they don’t have any sides worth mentioning- the homemade roll you get with your meal is quite tasty, but not spectacular. The fries are ho-hum. If I were you, I would wait for a reason to go to Pomona, and let Donahoo’s be your reward. In the meantime, you cannot go wrong with Popeye’s spicy chicken with red beans and rice!
October 26th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Golly, that is some beautiful looking fried chicken.
Reading this prompted us to change our dinner plans.
October 26th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Zmmann, myself, and the rest of the crew went to M&Ms last night. I should warn you that their portion sizes for the entrees aren’t as generous as before, but still delicious.
October 27th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Have you heard that the bird is the word?
B…b…b…b…bird bird bird.
October 27th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
DocChuck - good choice.
Humble - Zakhar is the reason I’m able to speak of M&Ms in the first place. As long as the price is still right for lunch, I ain’t got shit to say about portions!
Sarah - PAPA OOM MOWMOW MOW PAPA OOM MOW MOWMOW