This is part of a dual post between Monster Munching and The Eaten Path. You can read Elmo Monster’s review here. It’s no secret that The Eaten Path runs on slanted taste buds: for every post I write under the heading of “noodles” there are four posts under the heading of “deep fried.” The eminence [...]

I’m a longtime advocate of making southern fried chicken America’s national food. Burgers and hot dogs are fine miniature flag bearers of our fake empire, but in the United States, discerning individuals know that the bird is the word. Sadly, like the zombified burgers and dogs who dominate global markets, our country’s leading export of [...]

During my last visit to East-West Hair, I got on the topic of hunger with my barber, Ikho. He asked me if I had ever eaten ramen. I couldn’t tell exactly how complicated he intended that question to be, so I answered in the affirmative. Ikho encouraged me to pay a visit to the shopping [...]

“Do you think when the guy came up with the idea to invent the bong, a blacklight popped up over his head?” -Mitch Hedberg I’m not quite sure what popped up over my head when I was blessed with the idea for bacon corn dog ice cream. I only know what popped into my stomach: [...]

When I’m away from Kansas City and in low spirits, I try to envision someone walking up to the counterman at Bryant’s and ordering a beef sandwich to go– for me. The counterman tosses a couple pieces of bread onto the counter, grabs a half a pound of beef from the pile next to him, [...]